Can we go the distance?

You're too far away.. I want you near me, always.

I try to push the thought of not seeing you this december out of my mind
but everytime a memory hits me, a memory of your kiss or touch or smell
or anything that reminds me of you and the good times we had,
my heart breaks.
A pain in my chest.
What used to be a nice wander of the mind to a lustfull place has become a red zone where pain resides. And I burn myself as if I put my hand on the stove.

But how I need you! How I want you! How I love you...

How long can I take it? Will I drive myself crazy over this?
So much pain, so much dissappointment and sadness.

You are the best, closest lover and friend. I have so much respect and admiration for you. I adore you and your sweet sillyness. you reached into me in so many ways as no one have.
:(
Why does it have to hurt so much? Love. Why does love have to hurt so much?